In your 20’s, the only prerequisite for a relationship is to feel attraction – and that’s it. You didn’t care what the object of your affection did for a living, how much he made or if he was great with kids. It was a BONUS if a guy had a job and if he had a car – wahoo hoo – jackpot!
Way back when, your friends were the # 1 priority in your life and there always seemed to be an endless and ever growing network of people to choose new “prospects” from.
By the time you hit 40 as a single woman, the new # 1 priority is your career, kids (if you have them) and creating financial security. Busy schedules get filled with “life stuff” and maybe you’ve let some friendships slide, further decreasing your social network.
Add in the current 51% divorce rate and women find themselves with less opportunity to meet men and more single women in the same age group desiring to attract a mate.
I don’t believe in competition, but many women confess to me they feel like the marketplace is a little crowded and their not sure how they can stand out and make dating feel fun and effortless.
So, what can YOU do to increase your chances for attracting a man?
The first step is to do a little inner and outer housekeeping. I’ve coached hundreds of 40+ single women and have become somewhat of a specialist helping this unique demographic “re launch” into the dating scene. Many of my clients are exiting from long marriages and are feeling unsure where to begin after a lengthy absence.
Today, I’m sharing some tips that will get the odds moving in your favour and give you a better sense of how to conduct yourself with men. Some may seem obvious but they’re all common sense and, most importantly, they work!
1. Don’t Split the Check On A First Date
When a man asks you out, he’s assuming he’ll pick up the tab. He’s NOT making the assumption that you are required to sleep with him because of it. He also won’t be thinking your needy, a gold digger or can’t look after yourself.
2. Avoid Having Sex Too Soon
Allow your Inner Guidance to tell you when to take it further with a man rather than feeling obligated or as a way to “seal” a relationship. Sex can wreak havoc on a woman’s mind if it happens too soon and can create unfair expectations. Allow intimacy and connection to develop slowly.
3. Do the Inner Work
If you know you’re still feeling hurt, resentful or angry about past relationships, seek out professionals who can help you heal. Missing this step creates an energy “mismatch” and will make it difficult to experience success with “external” actions like setting up online profiles and singles events.
4. Invest In Your Appearance
Of course it’s important for a man to love you for who you are, but please remember men are also visual creatures. Stay committed to a regular exercise routine, make regular trips to the hairdresser and, if necessary, whiten your teeth – it takes 5 years off your looks!
5. Know Your Boundaries and Stick To Them
Never do anything that doesn’t feel 100% right for you. Women have a tendency to be the Master Adapters and too easily adjust their life around a man’s world. Keep the give and take balanced and avoid the temptation to drop everything in your life to suit a man’s schedule.