You’ve Done The Research
We’ve talked to the experts—people who have used the Internet and the latest research to guide their dating lives—to find out what they think are the most important factors to look for in a potential date. Here are their top tips for finding a relationship:
Make a good impression on the first date. But don’t be annoying. “Make sure your manners are impeccable,” says Daphne Keller. “It should be clear to the person you are interested in that you want to get to know them, so do what it takes to make that happen.”
Be memorable. Pick an interesting activity that’s perfect for you. The point is to make sure he or she remembers your face.
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Don’t assume you know what he or she does, as Troy Carter notes. Ask. You want to get to know the person as a whole, not just their job. “Don’t ask him if he thinks that his job means he’s too uptight. It may mean nothing at all to him, or his girlfriend may be annoyed by it.”
What you want to be saying, as Lucy Kaye puts it, is “I’d like to get to know you as an individual.” It’s possible that he or she may have a hidden secret that is perfect for you.
Do the research. Before the date even happens, consider what you’d like to talk about or where you want to go.
Make him or her laugh. If you can make the other person laugh, it’s more likely that he or she will like you, says Nora Yost. “I once dated a man named Adam. I had never met him before. I asked him if he would like to go see a Broadway show together, and he said, ‘Yes, no, yes.’ He had this great laugh, so I went to see a show and he went with me. He was adorable and he really made me laugh.”
Use a proven online dating service, like Match.com, OkCupid, eHarmony or PlentyOfFish. Check out our list of the Best Online Dating Sites to get you started.
Prepare for the worst. Know what you are getting into. What can go wrong in the relationship? Are you okay with a long-distance relationship? If so, are you willing to https://girlsdating.asia/meet-hot-asian-models-on-hookup-sites-for-sex-and-ltr/
The lesson here is to find a good amount of courage before you walk into your first date, especially if it’s with someone you’ve only spoken to online. Here are some ways to build your courage, and some ways to help your date build theirs.
Find a Mentor or Coach to Show You the Way
The most important thing you can do if you want to get over your fear of dating is be afraid, but not of your own feelings. It’s ok to be afraid. Love and relationships are scary, and dating is the biggest of those obstacles, with its highs and lows. So make sure you find someone you trust who will help you get over your feelings of fear and will support you along the way. You can find a good mentor or coach through an online dating site, or you can ask someone you already know, like a close friend or family member, who may want to help you through the process of dating.
In my years of dating, I have found people who have been there, done that, and can help me through the process with a little guidance. They can help me through the dating process with the ultimate goal of meeting someone who will love and support me—my goal, not theirs.
Get to Know Each Other Before the First Date
Dating is a scary thing to do for a lot of people. That is the point. You’re trying to add a new layer of complexity to a relationship. That’s a lot to ask of someone you barely know, so it’s best to start with a pre-date call or e-mail to get to know each other and figure out if you’re a good match.
Start by asking questions about each other’s interests and jobs, and after you learn about them, be willing to have a conversation about that topic, rather than letting them ramble on about themselves. You are more likely to find something you have in common than you are to find someone who has absolutely nothing in common with you, and no one wants to be talking with a one-way conversation who is only trying to fill the silence. If there’s something you really want to know about your date, and you’re afraid to ask it, at least get a feel for how open or closed-minded they are—if you can get a sense of that in a short conversation, you will feel more comfortable knowing whether to ask in the first date.
Pro tip: People are much more open to talking about their passions and interests than
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